Friday, April 27, 2012

Listen all y'all, it's a sabotage

I've been a slacker lately, as far as blogging goes. It should come as no surprise that I have also slacked off in the working out & eating well departments too. The last two weeks have been rough. It started off with some weird stomach bug and I wasn't sleeping well and it snowballed in to big fat laziness. I went four days without running or working out and let me tell you, there's a fine line between enough rest and too much rest. I didn't just cross the line, I peed on it. I didn't log my meals for pretty much an entire week and when I stepped on the scale this morning, it showed. I gained almost four pounds over the last two weeks. No bueno, my friends.

I always used to roll my eyes when skinny people would say they needed to lose five pounds so their pants would fit better. Yeah, five pounds, what could that possibly do for you? I'll tell you what... the skinny folk are right. I gained less than five pounds but I can FEEL it and I don't like that feeling at all. Here's something that I think people can maybe relate to: self-sabotage. If you've ever tried repeatedly to lose a significant amount of weight, you are probably familiar with the idea.

Two weeks ago I was at the lowest weight I can remember being in my adult life. I was approximately three pounds away from a HUGE milestone (I refuse to share details about this until I actually cross that line). I should have been ecstatic and I was, sort of. I had just run my first 5K and finished with a time I was very proud of. Then something weird happened... it felt almost like a post-race depression. I no longer had that race-day excitement to look forward to and I felt a little lost.

At the encouragement of some friends, I signed up for a half-marathon even though I've only ever run one 5K before... two weeks ago. [Note: You can see a list of races I'm contemplating here.] Curious and excited, I began to look into half-marathon training plans. Then the doubts started to creep in, those ugly little bastards. "What am I doing?" "You can't even run 5 miles let alone 13.1." I started to believe them and I started to feel sorry for myself. For the record, this is never productive.

I neglected to do my Sunday meal prep and then panicked when I didn't have any prepared foods to bring to work. I don't like eating when I first wake up so I usually bring oatmeal or cereal with me and eat breakfast in the office. Last week I was lucky if I remembered to grab a banana as I ran out the door. You can imagine that I was positively starving by the time lunch rolled around and so I stuffed myself silly until my stomach literally ached.

This week I picked myself up and started back with my regular routine on Tuesday.As usual I had a great time at Zumba. My run Wednesday was not pretty, nor was it fast but it got done and that's all that matters. Yesterday was Zumba again and I realized how much I truly look forward to that class. My running can sometimes feel too serious because I'm constantly calculating and judging myself. Zumba is mostly the opposite where I can just be silly and let loose and I love it for that reason. I have noticed that the faster a song is, the better I dance to it. I'm pretty sure this relates directly to over-thinking; when the beat is fast there is no time to think, you just move. As a notorious over-analyzer, that brief absence of thought is blissful.

This morning's weigh-in was a nice wake-up call to turn things around. I went out and bought a planner so I can visualize and prepare for my workouts. I have already planned a menu for next week and will be making some diverse and flavorful meals such as jerk chicken and dal tadka. For breakfast, I'll be eating protein-rich greek yogurt with mix-ins (peanut butter, apple butter, granola, nuts, etc) and some fruit. They say when you fail to plan, you plan to fail and next week will be nothing short of success.

1 comment:

  1. I have been thinking about my walks and I think I need to unplug as in unplug from my Nike+ and not look at what my pace is or how long it is taking me. Because then I get disappointed and want to just go home. So maybe you need to just run and not take it so seriously.

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